Trust is the biggest thing for me and I have a lot of trust issues. For a person to lie to me, I can't fuck with you. There's obviously good reasons to lie, to build somebody's confidence; but if you're lying about other stuff, it's just no point, it's a waste of energy.
The day I wrote this song, I was arguing with this girl that I was with in high school.
Every time I'd argue with her she would tell me it was all in my head, I was delusional. After all that shit ended, I was just pissed off in my room and I just heard a beat and the first thing that popped in my head was (singing) because that's what was happening. I met Nick playing PS4.
I had made the song before to a different beat. Nick had heard the song, he really liked it.
He got the lyrics and he went on Twitch and he basically made the beat live. The energy, everything, it was just created around my lyrics. She would disappear at random times and I wouldn't hear from her. I would try not to trip about it, but eventually you start overthinking stuff, whatever.
You start asking questions and she would get all defensive and tell me that it was all in my head, that I was tripping, whatever. It will literally be in my head. All day I'll just be thinking about why? Why did you do that? You didn't have to do that. I guess I do hold a grudge for a little bit just because it stays stuck in my head and I'll just be mad about it. I'm very ignorant.
Majority of it, I was just overreacting with everything. I feel like there's always somebody that cares more than the other person in a relationship, and I was that person in that situation. If I care, I care. I'm the type of person that, if I don't fuck with you, I won't fuck with you.
Then I actually care about you, real emotions for you. For somebody to lie to you that you care about hurts. For someone that you love and care about, for them to say that you're just too much to handle, it sucks. It's a tricky situation.
The relationship was already over. I didn't really know why I kept trying. I just kept trying and it wasn't working.
I wasn't going to take an L in that situation. I wanted to be with her, but it didn't work. I just feel like nowadays people like to sugarcoat everything, so they just tell you what you want to hear until they get what they want. After that it's just done with. Once I get my heart broken with somebody, I'll just cut them off after that. Cut off all the bad shit in your life and you'll be a lot better. It's working out.
I like to talk about stuff that's real to me because it's how I write. Everything, the lying, just all that stuff added up, and I just carry it with me. I was just depressed and mad.
Just graduated high school, I didn't know what the fuck to do. I was just taking all these drugs. I don't remember a lot of stuff; it messed my head up. I was being super ignorant. I wouldn't talk to nobody.
I was just in my own depressed little circle and that's where I was. But that's where all my music came, so I'm very thankful for that too. I think it's possible for people to come back from bad experiences in the past.